I have a confession to make, I am a horrible friend. Some of you know that first hand. I don’t call often, and who writes anymore, and since I hate social media I don’t connect well there either. But, I have a feeling that I’m not the only bad friend out there. If what I see is true in the men around me, a lot of us don’t do friendships well. To be clear, I’m talking about male friendships that go beyond, “Did you see the game?”, “What’d you do to your yard to make it green?”, or “We need some rain.” I’m talking about friendships that are deep enough that the one knows when something is going on with the other without being told. Where help is given without being asked to help. I’ll say it; Where there’s LOVE. Brotherly love. So this month’s newsletter is focused on manly friendship.
It has been said that female friendships can be pictured as two women facing one another, while male friendships can be symbolized as two men standing side by size, looking outwards. So here’s to having a buddy, a brother to take on the world with. Long live man friendship.
Male friendships today do not look like they used to. There are several reasons in the article for the difference; the modern shift in the idea of homosexuality from an act to an identity, workplace competition, and increased mobility have driven us apart.
Your commitment to a friend is better demonstrated by staying in regular contact. Face-to-face meetings are best, but scheduled phone calls will work if you’re living far apart.
Facebook isn’t going to cut it. Texting is little better. Twitter, nope, not going to do it either. Face to face time is the best way to connect with anyone, especially if you consider them a friend. Yup, it takes time. But, time well spent. Time will pay infinite dividends in the future for both.
We can model godly friendships for teen males. Young men (and older men, for that matter) can quickly move conversations and actions in ungodly directions. They need to see that it’s possible to enjoy time with other guys without compromising God’s standards.
Where will our sons find examples of how men should be? On TV? Ha. The internet? Good Lord, NO! They need to watch you. When they watch you, Dad, they will also see your friends. You having good friends will help your son navigate life that much better.
You know what I think about Jesus and his focus like the greatest command is loving the Lord your God and so that relationship with him has to be first. Because we have we have to be careful, that while I agree men primarily under emphasize relationship and friendship we can also overemphasize it and expect so much from each other that’s things that only God can give us.
So, every relationship begins with sinners. Broken people. We bring our sinfulness into every relationship. So, we need God in the midst of that relationship. We will need grace, forgiveness, and mercy. The cord of three strands verse isn’t just for marriage, it’s for friendships too.
“As mapped out in my article, disconnecting from friends is incredibly bad for your long-term health. Shockingly bad. Like ‘this reporter sounds like he’s laying it on thick’ bad. I was not. Study after study after study all tell you the same thing.”
Get good friends or die early. As simple as that. Read the article HERE.
Here are my takeaways from researching male friendships:
- It is God-honoring to have and nurture intimate relationships with other men. (If you read a sexual connotation into that you have been brainwashed by our society. Intimacy does not equal sex)
- It will help you live longer
- It will make you a better husband and father
- It will have a positive impact on your sons when they get older
- Most men are to “busy” to nurture friendships. By the way, “You’re Not Too Busy.”
Do you need to connect with a friend? Reconnect? Sign up for the Whetstone Backpacking Trip. For a limited time, sign up with a buddy and you each get $25 off your registration. Get signed up HERE. Choose the “Buddy” option.